If there’s anything we can count on, it’s that a time will inevitably come when life radically rearranges itself. The baby arrives. A loved one dies. The job ends. Someone leaves, or you do, or someone leaves and you’re furious that you weren’t the one to leave first. Life breaks open, and everything you knew scatters.
Suddenly you’re facing a question you wish you didn’t have to ask: Now what?
Pema Chödrön said: “To be alive is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” Change often feels like that—a spiraling free fall before we learn to navigate new terrain.
What if we approached change not as something to survive or fix, but as something to be with?
Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me,” you might ask: “What do I need right now?” or “What does this moment require of me?”
These questions don’t erase the pain or confusion, but they can help to shift where we place our attention. When we turn toward curiosity instead of away from it, something shifts in the brain itself—curiosity activates neural pathways that help us move beyond rigid patterns. Our brains are plastic, always capable of forming new connections. Curiosity is one of the most direct ways to activate our capacity to navigate change and find a new way forward.
Ask yourself:
- What part of your life is shifting shape right now? (Career, relationships, health, family, spiritual beliefs, etc.)
- Have you experienced anything like this before? Is there any part that feels familiar?
- What happens if you meet this moment with curiosity rather than resistance? Does anything feel different?
- What might this change be inviting you to pay attention to, or to move toward?
Try this
Find a quiet spot and place a hand on your chest or your heart. Close your eyes and take a long breath in and slowly let it out. Then gently ask: What is this change showing me or inviting me to notice? Stay with whatever arises—the surprising thoughts that bubble up, the emotions, the knowing. There’s no need to resolve anything. Just listen.
